Can't Let Go

Hello. It's been a while; I realize that. When friends ask why I haven't written anything in months, I describe my feelings around this blogging break as a "divorce" from the blogging world. I haven't written a post, I haven't been reading other blogs (regularly), I haven't been checking out my stats, nothing. Yes, my break was sudden and fairly extreme, but I'm not sure that I can call it a divorce. A divorce is ugly, painful, and final. While I experienced disappointment and frustration I'm not ready to say that I am done forever.

What does this mean? Who knows! I sure don't. I'm not ready to commit to updating regularly and I still have no idea what my "niche" would be. Maybe I do need to throw in the towel and say goodbye.

I'll think about some things and keep you posted. ;)

Motherhood Guilt

Motherhood guilt has already started to settle in for me. I feel like I haven’t been documenting my pregnancy enough. I have a personal journal that I have (inconsistently) been writing notes and experiences in, but I feel like it’s not enough. There’s no week-by-week record of how my body is changing or how I am feeling. A part of me really wants to have that, but another part of me realizes that that is just not who I am (remember the sunrise example).

I also have this weird hesitation about being classified as a “mommy blogger”. I think being a mom automatically places me in this amazing group of women who have lead the way before me. However, I also realize that there are tons of women who are not yet in that season of life, or desperately want to be but haven’t had the opportunity. I have been reluctant to post motherhood-focused topics because I don’t want to isolate those without children.

I hear that this penchant for guilt only continues as your children grow. One unfortunate quote that someone said to me was, “A mother is only as happy as her unhappiest child”. What a bummer that is! However, I completely understand where that comes from. My child is not even in this world yet and I already want what is best for him; I can only imagine what it will be once he is actually here, making life-altering decisions.

How do you deal with guilt (of any kind)? What do you think about “mommy bloggers”?

My Trouble with Blogging

It's obvious that I haven't been posting much here on the blog. There are many reasons for that (some of which I've already shared):

• Lack of motivation 
• Lack of support 
• Unclear vision 
• Guilt 

Today I want share some of my thoughts and feelings on my lack of motivation and support. 

Blogging can be a tricky world because the blogging community has built a reputation as being super friendly and supportive, but it's really hard to break into that community. Sure, there are bloggers all over the world who are friends with one another but it’s almost as though they’ve reached their friend capacity.

Maybe it's me, maybe I'm not participating in the community with a genuine blog focused attitude. I mean, I love to read blogs, but many of them are already well established and successful in the field. Becoming friends with me doesn't necessarily matter because they've already made a name for themselves, have thousands of followers, and created a trusted circle of creatives around them. 

This leads me to the question, should I be searching for more up and coming, unknown blogs out there? Yes, I definitely should. But where to start? How do I find them? Do I do random topic searches? Should I look to see who other blogs are linking to? How do people find me? A person only has so many hours in a day to focus on so many people and posts. 

When Vine came out (a new social media platform), Bri Emery of Designlovefest said that she wanted to try it, but when you add a new platform a previous one suffers. I think that this is also true of the blogs you read. I think people reach a capacity for how much they can read and take in. When they find a new blog to follow, it usually distracts them from a previous one.

Finally, I wonder if blogging is on the way out. When you’re in the blogging community, it is huge. When you’re outside of it (or trying to tell friends and family about it), it is actually feels pretty tiny. If it is running it’s course, then what will take it’s place? What platform or tool will take it’s place?

I feel a little bit like a negative nancy with this post. This community needs positivity and encouragement, and my goal is not to take away from that. I’ve been in a blogging slump and I’m trying to figure out if I should throw in the towel or work through this time in order to come out on the other side.

The News!

Do I look bloated in the picture above? Well, I'm not! I'm pregnant!!!

Rob and I are beyond stoked for our sweet potato-sized lovie, set to arrive in July. I am currently 18 weeks pregnant (about 4 months) and I feel great. Sometimes I still can't believe that it's happening, and sometimes I'm even afraid of what my life is going to be like once the baby is born. Maybe that's a part of the reason you're pregnant for 9 months? To get used to the idea? Who knows!

What has been really amazing for me is to see how quickly my body began changing to prepare for this little life. Almost right away, I noticed subtle changes in how my body carried itself and how I was feeling (mainly exhausted). It really is incredible what our bodies can do.

As my pregnancy progresses, expect some updates on here. I haven't been posting regularly (which is obvious), so I don't want to commit to daily posts. Saying that, I do want some kind of record of my experience to share with my kidlet later on in life.

So, be sure to stop by!

(Photo taken by Daniel Garcia at 14 weeks) 

An Inadvertent Blogging Break

You may have noticed that things have been a bit quiet here the last couple of weeks. It turns out that I took a little bit of a blogging break. The holidays came up and there was lots to do, and I just let time slip away. This happened to me last year, so I think I should better prepare next time. :)

I've also been using this break to think about the purpose of my blog and what I hope to accomplish with it. I began posting as a creative outlet from my 9-5 and as a place to express ideas I was wrestling with (anyone remember my turmoil over grad school?). I've been blogging for over a year now, but I feel like I need to have a clearer focus if I'm going to move forward. I don't want to post everyday out of obsessive-compulsive tendencies or guilt; I want it to be purposeful. Here is some of what I've been thinking about:

• What do I want my blog to focus on (travel, life, design, food, anything and everything, etc.)? 
• What do I want my blog to accomplish?
• Do I want it to continue to be a creative outlet or do I want it to assist my career in some way?
• What steps do I need to take to reach those goals? 
• Is my blog continuing to be something that is fruitful and productive in my life or is it distracting me from other areas and relationships?   

Where will this introspection lead? I'm not sure, but I'll keep you posted. 

(Photo taken in Florence, Italy, 2012)

p.s. Have a happy and safe New Year! 

Excitement + Anxiety

Guys, this week has been a crazy mix of excitement and anxiety. I'm excited because I've made some great progress on a personal project, but so anxiety ridden because I have looming deadlines that need attention. For example, I haven't purchased a single Christmas gift. Eekkk! I have less than 12 days to make that happen and I'm trying to be budget conscious this year. Any recommendations? I would LOVE to hear some. Mix that in with Content deadlines and holiday festivities, and we have ourselves a great (read: sweat inducing) time!

Back to the excitement. Although my poor time management has made me sweaty, it really is a great time of year. Pretty white lights everywhere, people put a priority on spending time with one another, and good food as the centerpiece at every function. I'm absolutely thrilled that my best friend will be home in just over a week, and I'm loving the fact that Christmas carols are being sung everywhere. These are the things I need to remember as I'm worrying about a long list of to-dos.

(Photo take at DisneyWorld last Christmas)

Forget Me, Not!

No, I haven't forgotten about this wonderful place I like to call my blog. I had a couple of last minute deadlines come up and had to push those into priority. I appreciate your understanding and am excited for some posts I have lined up for next week. I hope you had a rad Thursday and I leave you with this...



Because who doesn't love a heartbroken, beach blonde George Michael? (his face at 1:57 is a real gem)

p.s. I love that his love interest is a brunette!

A New Chapter Begins

Today I start a new job! I have been keeping mum about the change until all of the dust settled and the details were worked out (the transition is also a part of the reason I have been a bit MIA on here). I will be contributing to the Social Media Marketing and Communication team for a non-profit organization called Slavery Footprint. Slavery Footprint builds awareness around modern day slavery and human trafficking, and have an amazingly interactive website (a.k.a. you should check it out). It is a heavy cause, but one that is important and needs to be talked about.

Change can be scary, but sometimes you just have to do it. I'm not totally sure what to expect from my new position, but I'm exited to learn. I'm excited to be working to make a difference in the lives of thousands of people who are being taken advantage of. The topic itself can be daunting, but that doesn't mean I should run away from it either. I'm sure a heavy heart is ahead, but I'm happy to know that I will be working to end human suffering.

Wish me luck!

(p.s. How do you decide what photo best represents a new chapter in your life? I didn't know how to choose, ha! This one was taken in Yosemite in 2011)

The End of Summer is Near...

I am usually a dedicated winter person; I absolutely LOVE when it rains, hot chocolate is a staple for me, and cozying up next to a fire with my guy sounds like a dream. That's why this September has been so weird for me. I am not ready for summer to end and I feel like I have been mourning the loss of long, sun-filled days. I've even found myself feeling sad about warm weather outfits I didn't get much use out of this year! Say what?! I know, it's odd for me to miss summer before it's gone, especially because I'm usually trying to push it out faster than it would leave on it's own.

I think my attitude started shifting when I began working in an office. Back in the day (when I did nails), I had a glimpse of the outside world multiple times an hour. These days, I can go 2-3 hours before even taking a peak outside. Plus, it's kind of a bummer to start work in the dark and leave work in the dark. I don't know how people closer to the poles do it; Finland gets 23 hours of darkness a day in the middle of winter (yikes)!

I don't think that the office is to blame in this situation, I think it's just a part of life to work regular business hours. Saying that, I can acknowledge my appreciation for extended sunlight that working in a cube has given me. Being able to eat dinner outside well after work has finished, or taking extended strolls through the neighborhood are activities I enjoy and will miss as the sun sneaks away earlier and earlier. Fortunately for me, winter storms and hot chocolate wait for me on the other side...

Are you in an office most of the day? How do you deal with restricted outdoor access?
(Photos: #1 - Lunch at Little Chef, #2 - Zoey sunbathing in the backyard, #3 - Strolling & dinner with friends!)

Where Have You Been, Friend?

If you're stopping by regularly, then you've noticed that I haven't been posting everyday. There has been a lot going on in the Ernst household and I'm afraid I cannot keep up. Plus, I don't want to post random things just to post; I'm trying to be more intentional. That's why I have decided to move my posting schedule to every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday (with an occasional Tuesday or Thursday if something really great comes along or if I just can't wait :). I will continue to share the things that inspire me, the places I dream of, and the people I love.

-Stacy

p.s. No, I haven't forgotten about my Europe series, I just haven't had time to sit down and do it. I apologize. Florence will be coming soon.

(Photo was taken in Berlin in 2012)

About Me

Blogging (almost) everyday for a year and no about page? You know me, I live outside the rules! Ha! If you really know me, then you know that that last statement is absolutely not true. To be honest, here's how not having one breaks down:

not sure exactly what to say + kind of forgetting that it is supposed to exist = no about page for a year!

I've finally sat myself down, perused Pinterest for distraction, and created something to describe myself and why this blog exists. Check it out here. I hope you enjoy!

(Photo taken in Venice in 2012)

Weekend Work

This week has helped me realize a few things:

• If I want to give my Europe posts my best efforts, then I need to give them more time than I have
• I need to prioritize my responsibilities and how I spend my time
• I am easily inspired, yet I want to bring my inspiration into action
• I deeply enjoy summer fruit and the delicious juice it makes
• I would really love to be a person who keeps a clean room

I definitely wanted (and planned) to have my Prague post up for everyone today, but I sat down much too late to give it the effort it deserves. I don't want to put forth half an effort (and be unsatisfied with the results) just to have a post up, so I've decided that I will wait to post it until next week. Even though I feel a tinge of disappoint in myself, I need to remember that the quality of my content is most important. I hope you agree.

BUT if you're jonesin' for some Europe pics, here are highlights (in case you missed them) from:

• Malmo
• Copenhagen
• Berlin

(Photo taken in Austria in 2012)

Berlin Loves You

Unfortunately, I was not able to finish up the full Berlin post for you today. But have no fear! I'll be back with a full-fledge, kick-ass post for you tomorrow (in all seriousness, I'm really excited about it :). I hope you had a great "hump day" and are starting to get excited for the weekend!

A Little Break

This week is turning into a crazier week than expected, so I have decided to take a little blogging break this week. I need to focus my after-work attention on a few Content deadlines, some household responsibilities, and (if I'm honest) some Olympic watching. I'll be back next week with pictures from our Europe trip! Have a great week and I'll see you next Monday!

(Photo taken in Florence, Italy)

Finding Balance

One thing that Robbie and I have been struggling with in our lives and relationship is balance. I'm sure you can tell from any one of my weekend posts (here or here, for example) that any free time we have fills up fast. We are finding ourselves busy almost every evening during the week and throughout the day on weekends. I'd like to think that it is all going to work itself out, but I'm afraid I'm going to have to be a bit more proactive than that.

We've talked about how we need to really prioritize our time and decide where we would like to dedicate our attention and focus. We've even given ourself homework and asked each other to identify what takes the most time and create goals around activities we would like to make more of a priority. Now it's time for the rubber to meet the road; no more talking, it's time for action! I've always said that we are doing good things and there is not really much I'd like to give up, but something is going to have to give.

So dear friends, I've asked before, but what do you do for balance? Andrew, you've said before that "life slows down when you make it slow down". How do you do that? Maybe I'm dense, but I'm not sure where or how to start. 

Is It True That Life Slows Down?

This week has been absolutely insane. I swear, the hours in a day are zooming by faster than they normally would (or at least that is what I'm telling myself). I'm working on really fun projects in all areas of life, I think that I'm just having trouble balancing everything. I've definitely been here before, so I know this will pass, but I just don't know where I'm going to find the time to do everything. I can't even imagine having children in a situation like this!

Do you have any time management techniques to share?
(Photo: QuietLikeHorses)

Sometimes You Just Feel a Little... Funky

I must admit that in the last couple of weeks, I have felt a little out of control. It all started with that week that was unexpectedly slammed; I feel like I haven't recovered since then. It seems like we have something scheduled every single night and I can't catch up. All good things, of course, just tiring.

But have no fear, there is a light at the end of the tunnel! I don't want to say that I feel more balanced (who does anyway?!), but I am getting very excited about some things in the works. I have some great friendships developing, Content is really building a presence in San Jose, and I've had a new wave of ideas for the blog. I'm excited to start diving into each. Now, if only I could figure out how to balance everything...

Do you have suggestions for balancing family, friends, work, and pleasure? 
(Photo: Sell your soul for a _____)

I Hear Patience is a Virtue

As I'm writing, I'm feeling a bit of what Joanna Goddard calls the winter blues. It's funny because California has been having absolutely amazing winter weather; we've had sunshine all over the state. To be honest with you, I think I'm feeling sad because I'm feeling impatient, not because of the weather. I have goals of where I want to be and things I want to be doing, but I'm not there yet.

I understand and appreciate the necessity of building a foundation and "paying my dues". It is through this time that I am gaining the experience to be successful later on in life. It's just that sometimes I grow frustrated with the waiting. Does that happen to you?

How do you cope with frustrations regarding where you are now compared to where you would like to be?
(Photo taken in Yosemite in 2011)

I'm Back!

Robbie and I arrived safely home on Saturday evening and we are definitely glad to be back. We've enjoyed catching up with our roommates, playing with our pup, and I've missed blogging more than I thought I would. Saying that, I'm not sure I'm quite ready for our vacation to end. I already find myself missing the warm 85 degree Caribbean Sea, and the freedom of taking an afternoon nap (guilt free!) multiple days in a row.

Although I miss the forced relaxation that comes along with the lack of internet access, I'm excited for the new year. We have some great adventures ahead and I'm ready to take on new challenges. Each year provides an opportunity to grow through unexpected circumstances, so I've learned not to place all my eggs in one basket. This is a part of the reason I don't like to make New Year's resolutions. I want to grow through challenges as they come, rather than set my path before I know what's ahead.

Do you make New Year's resolutions? If so, what were some of the ones you made for this year? If not, what are your reasons not to? I'd love to know what you decide...
(Photo taken in Barbados)

P.S. I'm working on the Ernst Family Christmas Vacation wrap-up and will be posting it next week!

Patience

I am not a very patient person. It is something that I have been working to improve in myself for years (it's the worst with technology and traffic). I want to see results much sooner than would naturally occur. For example, when I graduated with an undergraduate degree, I wanted a high-level position right away. I was impatient with "paying my dues". I realize this sounds bratty, but it was a feeling I struggled with.

Yesterday, Bri from DESIGNLOVEFEST shared how she started her blog and reminded her readers to be patient in the growth process. This was a humble reminder to focus on each post and make sure that my best work is being represented. The lessons I learn through the growing pains will be lessons no one can take from me; they will help create a foundation for my future success. I just need to be reminded of that sometimes.

Are you a patient person? Do you have any tips on practicing patience? 
(Photo: Wolf Eyebrows)